Sunday, February 11, 2018

Valentines Day prep 2018

It has been a ridiculous amount time ago that I last blogged.
Time is flying by and I am not keeping up with our children’s
Younger years. This will not be a Long post but I wanted to at least
get something down.

Gabe had to work today so we made the kids’ Valentines boxes for thei
parties coming up on Tuesday. Of course, I hop on Pinterest for a few ideas but decided
to see what the kids were thinking.
I asked the kids what they wanted to bring for Valentines treats...Do you want Applesauce?  we could say "you're Awesome Sauce!"  Chips?  "You're all that and a bag of chips!" Gum?  I “Chews” You or something like that.  I had some Pinterest saying for all this.
Graham said: How about Suckers!
Kamryn agreed!  She was inspired by all these sayings and thought she would give it a try.
She wanted to write:

 "Happy Valentines Day!  You're Sucking Awesome!"

Me: (wanted to laugh) I said, yep that’s probably not gonna work!

And the journey continues...

Monday, November 30, 2015

School in session at the Palace

Happy Holiday season!  'Tis the season to be Merry....Jolly....insane....take your pick.

The kids have been on Thanksgiving break since the Friday before Thanksgiving week...whatever date that was.  Gabe has been working a ton...has been called in a couple needless to say, I have been living the single parent life and it stresses me out.  Kudos to all of you out there that do this daily/nightly.

Today was supposed to be the first day back to school and we got a call late last night saying it was cancelled due to the ice storm.

While I completely understand the danger in driving on a sheet of ice....much like glass slathered in Crisco......or the danger of walking down a sidewalk near a tree...a roof...or anything harboring ice.....and risking the chance that it may melt enough and fall on your head or stab some other part of your body.........yes...all very risky.  This was the picture out my front window anyways....walking out onto our porch on to our sidewalk, was like playing a game of Minesweeper!  If you don't get what I'm saying....Google it.

My patience has thinned a bit more each day I am home with the kiddos.  Today, I decided that I was gonna make it a good day at home!  Keep them entertained....educated....happy....from fighting with each other constantly......

I cancelled all my clients as the liability lotto didn't seem like a game I wanted to play today.

We had school at the Prescott's.  Graham and Kamryn woke up, bummed about not having school.  They were looking forward to seeing their friends!  I think just as much as seeing friends, they were looking forward to the type of schedule that school entails.  Before finding out that school was cancelled...Graham came upstairs dressed and ready to roll in his school uniform.  Kamryn came out in a dress and neither one wanted to dress in cozy clothes.  I told them we were going to have Prescott School.  Graham thought this was great!  He proceeded to make sure that our routine was very similar to theirs at school.......clear down to the bathroom breaks!

We started the day off with a Family prayer and then a couple prayers they are learning in class. 

After that, I had found a neat picture of a cross for the kids to color.  This was our religious/art period.

We followed that up with bathroom breaks and snacks.

Our random letter of the day was "C".  Each of the kids had to find things in the room that began with 'C.'  They each took turns coming up to the white board and writing 'C' words.

After "phonics," we had recess.  Kamryn did her own things while Graham practiced basketball drills.  We played in the garage of way were we going outside.

I found some simple Science experiments with water.  We did a couple labs....they learned about "refraction" and density.  They had fun with the experiments and I believe they learned some new things!

Graham was sad that he missed out on "Sack Lunch Day" with school being cancelled, so I fixed them both lunches and packed them in their lunch box....all so they could eat lunch at the kitchen table.....but was all about keeping peace in the house!

We actually played school from 830-1130!  The schedule was great!  We didn't get our Math lesson in but that's ok.  The kids had fun!  I actually had fun doing this with them.  Graham was full of random "I Love you Mom" comments (which never get old)....they appreciated the extra effort from me.  I'm so bad about getting caught up in other things and giving less than 50% of my attention to the kids.  I value the gift of time so much....I need to remember to give that gift to my kids whenever I can.

I didn't get a ton of household chores completed but was able to chip away at the laundry and complete my Christmas cards.

Days like today just reconfirm my feelings about "Time."  There truly is no better gift.  Time is valuable....priceless....and all about what you make of it.  Time is precious and not guaranteed.  If you want to get a gift for a friend this holiday season and don't know what to get....consider the gift of time.  Have them over for a meal, a drink, a movie....go out to lunch....go for a walk....go shopping....lift weights....sit and talk..........ANY of these things would be more than enough for me....I am sure others would feel the same.

Enjoy this holiday season!  Treasure your TIME.........and the Journey continues........

Friday, October 9, 2015

21 Day Cleanse COMPLETE! -- Brief Summary :)

Time is up!  I completed my 21 day Standard Process Purification Challenge yesterday!  Today has been full of cheats but I will get on track soon!
Here is a bullet point list of what I learned and experienced:
* My will power is strong.....
   **So what is my excuse when I want to eat just to eat?  DECISIONS...they are a constant challenge of our inner strength... the right decision really can be made when I want it to be.

* My joints feel amazing!
  **I walked up and down stairs, jump roped, did lunges, step ups, burpees, etc and I feel awesome!  It's a different kind of awesome though.  I workout 5-6 days a week and get along really well with my knee but I truly feel younger!  My knee feels "normal!"

  **I already knew that water or hydration is extremely important in our daily lives.  What I didn't give hydration enough credit for, is how much more energy I have when I stay on top of drinking an appropriate amount of water.

  **I could go back and look at my notes and on the days I felt sluggish...I was behind on my water consumption.

  **Understand that my intention for doing this, was NOT to lose weight.
  **Naturally, by eating clean for 21 days, I lost 7.4lbs!  My stomach is now back to where I once was and my legs are more slender.
  **I wish I would have taken measurements of Body Fat.

*My first meal when finished, was pizza and stuffed portabella mushroom.  AMAZING!
  **Within 20-minutes of my last bite, I had a headache and  I woke up with a headache.
  **Was it the Gluten or Dairy?  We shall find out.

  **Absolutely, without a doubt!  It was very reasonable and so worth it to feel so good!

  **One of the MAIN reasons  I attempted this cleanse was to know first hand what to expect and tell people/clients when I am asked about cleansing.  I think it is something everyone she try at least once!

* Find a friend to take on this cleanse with you.  Accountability is HUGE!
* Think ahead and be prepared!  Meal prep, snack prep, for the week not just the day.  The LESS THINKING YOU HAVE TO DO, THE BETTER OFF YOU WILL BE!
* Trust in the process....take notes in your journal and let the journey continue!

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

Standard Process 21 Day Cleanse....and a little Soap Box...

Hello!  I'm back with what seems to be my "quarterly post."

I wanted to blog about the challenge I am doing at the time called the "Standard Process 21 Day Purification Cleanse."

Before I start, I am going to explain a few reasons as to why on Earth I decided that it would be a FUN idea to cut ice-cream, eggs, peanut butter, cheese, etc., out of my life for 21 days.

For those that do not know, my husband and I opened up our own gym, the Performance Lab, in May 2015.  We have enjoyed every second and have been pleasantly surprised by the amazing people that keep coming through our door.  Owning my own gym has been a longtime dream of mine!  It is my goal to challenge each individual who comes to me.  Challenge them in a way that fits them and their current level.

I have been in the personal training business 10 years now.  My style and thought processes have evolved throughout that time, but my passion has always been there, growing even stronger each day. One thing I have been very constant about is that I will NEVER make/have a client/athlete do something that I would not do myself or have not already done.

My athletes would all joke and say that that leaves the door wide open because I am always up for a challenge :)

Lately, probably the past 3 months, I have allowed myself to "cheat eat" way more than I should.  So often, I hear comments from people:

"must be nice to eat whatever you want and stay skinny"

"I know I shouldn't eat's not as healthy as what you eat"

When I am spotted eating out:
(gasp) "oh my gosh, you eat this kind of stuff?"

"what are you going to get? oh let me guess, a salad!?!"

The above are VERY FEW of the comments I hear all the time, but I don't want to sit here and type them all because it will ruin my good mood :)

Last I checked, there was NO pedestal beneath my 'biscuits.' don't put me on one people!!!

I make great choices....most of the time....but I also indulge in my ice-cream/peanut butter combo quite often.........I love chips and dip.....I love whole wheat bread and I eat that in moderation.  I love chocolate chip cookies fresh out of the oven.....I love peanut butter and anything!  Not just PB&J.

With the start of our own business, our kids being busy, Gabe's schedule is nuts, my schedule is nuts, I have made poor choices and felt like crap.  I was getting 4 1/2 hours of sleep a night....I was short with my family....not as energetic as I would like to be around my clients, and the list goes on.

A very dear friend of mine called me up a couple weeks ago and said, "hey I have been looking into doing a cleanse.....I think I found one that is really good....doable....21 days....costs a little bit of money but I think it will be good."

Without asking ANY DETAILS....I seriously mean ZERO....because I trust this beautiful young lady and knew that she had a challenge and goal that she really wants to, KNOWING that I felt like crap and needed to make some changes......knowing that  I had never done a cleanse and needed to if I am ever going to recommend it to anyone......said, "SURE....Order me a kit....I trust you, let's do this."

A couple days later, she calls and said that our 21 Day SP Purification Cleanse had come in and that I could come by anytime to pick it up.

I'm thinking...Pick it up??  What, a book?

So I walk in and there sits a box.  A big box.  Full of cleansing supplements, protein shakes, whole food fiber, and a book on what to do and how to do this.  While handing me this box, she told me that we are not allowed to eat meat for at least 7 days and we cannot have eggs.....or nuts.....

My response (and I apologize now):  "WTF?...No eggs?  No meat?  No Nuts?........what am I supposed to eat for breakfast?!!  I eat eggs everyday!"

From that moment on:  I quickly realized that if I focused on what I could NOT have during this cleanse, that I would FAIL.

My next challenge and question was, when am I going to start this?  I had a crossfit competition that ensuing weekend, I have a college alumni weekend to attend and an alumni basketball game, ........but you know what?  I could sit here and continue to make up excuses because there is NOT A PERFECT TIME!  Besides, we are talking 21 measly days!  There are people in this world that would give anything to have a meal to eat once a day, let alone three!!!  I'm NOT being asked to starve but to cleanse my rid my body of replenish with good, whole foods.

All that being said....

Day 1- I felt like it was easy peasy.  I got this.

Day 2- I could rip someone's head off....possibly eat my arm like I would corn on the cob!  Once I've eaten, life is good!  I can already feel a difference in the afternoons b/c I am not crashing while I type on the computer!

Day 3- My back is really tight but otherwise, this is kind of fun!

Day 4- My back is a little better.  I would get pissed when I got hungry but because I had stuff prepared and cut up ahead of time, I could satisfy my hunger rather quickly.  I took pics of myself from different views so that I could see the difference 21 days of good eating would make for me.

Day 5- I'm still peeing like 'Sea Biscuit' but I. FEEL. AWESOME.  My face is clearing up and complexion is looking better.
I was hungry but still had the energy to tackle an insane workout...insane both mentally and physically, as I rowed 2500m while wearing a 20# vest....breaking every 250m to do 20 Burpees, WITH THE VEST ON!
I was a bit miserable following the workout but within 20-minutes I felt like a champ again.

Day 6- I feel amazing!  I really do!  I feel inspired to share my journey with you.  I took more pictures already just to compare.  I have lost 3 pounds.

Weight loss....not my goal with this cleanse.  I could seriously, to a point, care less about what I weigh.  All I want, is to look defined.  Feel strong.  Feel good in what I am wearing.  To be happy.  To be HEALTHY.  I want my body to be a healthy "billboard" on display.  After all, that's basically the way I feel.  People constantly judge me based on what I eat, what I wear, what I do....I never realized the microscope I was under or would be under in this profession when I started.  I am NOT perfect nor will I ever be.

Another thing that has taken some getting used to, is SOCIAL MEDIA!  I have never been one to WANT the spotlight.  In highschool, following a cross country meet, my friends would ask me how it went and I would always say, great!  Our team finished 1st, 2nd or whatever it was.  And then I would continue on.....Then they would ask....Ok so how did YOU do?  I'd tell them that I did well.  Then they would ask for further detail.........Ok, I won and broke the record.   I even feel weird posting this little conversation but I am trying to get my point across....posting on social media about myself or my success is tough as I don't want anyone to perceive me as being conceited, but I think personal stories can touch people so that's why I am doing this.

I am seeing that people really do pay attention to and feed off of social media.  My goal in my career is to help as many people that I possibly can!  Our HEALTH is our WEALTH!  Without good health, really what good is your life?  How much Joy can you squeeze out of it?  With this being said, I want to share this 21 day journey with you.  Prove to you that I do make several mistakes.  And to also let you know, that the word "SKINNY" is NOT a compliment to me.  Quite frankly, it irritates me because that word to me means that I am skin and bones, have no muscle definition, etc.  I work my tail off when I exercise.  I didn't just wake up with more muscle than fat.  Maintaining what I have is difficult.  Making good decisions the majority of the time...IS difficult!  Finding time in my schedule to workout, IS difficult!  NO I DO NOT WORKOUT WITH ALL MY CLIENTS.....I COACH THEM.  I TRAIN THEM.  THAT HOUR IS ABOUT THEM....NOT ME.  That is clearing the air for another common misconception out there in regards to trainers.

We all face problems.  We all deal differently with life, food, decisions and such.

If you are struggling with energy....with what to to exercise.....give me a call or send me a message.  I do not have all the answers, but I have a lot of connections that probably do.  My motto in the Performance Lab is, "Defining YOU."

That is why I am here. To help YOU.  Help you DEFINE YOUR goals and who YOU want to be. That is why I want to help.  Women especially...we cannot do everything alone!  It is ok to have someone look after you too.  Sit down and review some personal goals...develop a plan of attack...and start kicking it in the tail!  YOU CAN succeed if you want to.  MAKING TIME AND NOT EXCUSES....will be the Key to your success.  I am here to help!

Stay tuned! the Journey continues.........

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Church....Why?!......Lord help me!

Gooooood Morning.

Sunday morning.  Gabe is at work.  Soooo, like most Sundays, I get the privilege of taking the kids to church by myself.

I got up, was dressed, make-up on, hair done BEFORE the kids woke up.  Basically, I just crushed a personal Sunday best.  BOOM.

Once both kids were up, I asked..."Guess what day it is?!"
K: what?!!
Me: Sunday!
G: ughhh
Me: Time to get dressed and ready for church.
G: I don't like church.  Why do we always have to go to church?
Me: Graham we go over this every week............

And that is pretty much how most of my Sundays begin....arguing over church.  There is not a Sunday that goes by that I don't hear my dad's voice in my head.

Rewind to 25 years ago.......
Me and Jared: we don't want to go to church!
Dad:  You can make time for ONE HOUR out of your week to go to church!

Back to present day.

We get to church, 2 minutes late of course.  Get seated towards the back.

The kids were pretty good the first 10-minutes and I am feeling pretty good and then they start acting up!  The priest is talking about how we plant seeds and God does his work to make them grow.  So I start trying to put that into my daily life.  I'm thinking to myself,
'why do I even bother to take them to church?'
'they are not paying attention'
So I told myself that it is my job to bring them to church no matter how they act, now matter how badly it make me want to pull my hair out or drink....that by me taking them to church, I am "planting my seeds." .....Just as my parents did for me.

Pretty soon, Kamryn sneezes....of course it's not a clean sneeze and heaven forbid I be a prepared mother with everything but the kitchen sink in my purse!  No kleenex.

So I spotted a kleenex box in the back of church and told her to go get a tissue.  She gets to the box and whispers (loudly):
"MOM, the box is EMPTY"

So I point to another one that I spot.  She walks over there and blows her nose....I was so proud for a  second..........UNTIL, she proceeded to place her snot filled kleenex back in the box!

I wanted to crawl under the pew.

I sent Graham to go fish the nasty out of the box.  He comes back holding the tissue out in front of him as though he had just caught a ginormous fish.  Kamryn heads back to get another Kleenex and is laughing her butt off.

After we got that mess taken care of....

They played with church books, Graham took Kamryn's prayer book she brought just to hack her off.  Kamryn lost her keychain which she refers to as her "camera" and was trying to take pictures of God and everybody.  Of course she had to add sound effects.

This point I can feel eyes all around me.

I got to the point that I had to separate the two kids, one on each side of me.

Let's move on to offertory time, shall we?  Because I am on top of life, I did NOT have checks written for the kids to place in the basket.  I had written one but not two so I was in the middle of putting my checkbook away after writing out checks, when the basket gets to us.  Kamryn is fiddling around with the envelop I needed to put one check in...

Graham was holding the other envelop that was ready to go.

I grabbed the basket and handed it to Graham so I could put my other check in Kamryn's envelop......

He does his Graham thing, puts the check in the basket and tried to hand it to me.....lets go ....and TaDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The offertory basket full of $20 bills, $1s, checks, etc was all over the floor!  Not just on the floor........UNDER THE PEW IN FRONT OF US.  So, Graham is under the pew trying to pick up the money, I am down there trying to a skirt............Kamryn is raising "HOLY HELL" because she doesn't  have anything in her envelope.  I finally put both checks in the basket and passed it to the row behind us.............I can only imagine the book people were writing about us at that point in time!  Probably title "FIFTY SHADES OF RED!"

Kamryn proceeds to cry about not getting to put her money in the basket for the next 3 minutes.  I managed to get her calmed down and held her....meanwhile, Graham is sprawled out on the pew bench b/c heaven forbid we sit up like we are supposed to!

It becomes time to kneel.  I kneel while holding Kamryn.  Graham stands.
Me: Graham what is everyone else doing right now?!  When we kneel, YOU kneel.
G: (not whispering) But I can't see!!!!!!!!!

The gal in front of us turns around and looks at him.

G: (Whispers to me) Why is everyone stairing at me!??!?!
Me: Because of the way you are acting Graham!  You need to straighten up.  You can either behave now, or choose to be in big trouble when you home!

K: (NOT whispering)  No mom!  you can't put Graham in timeout!!
Me: Fifty shades of Red

We get to communion.  My only regret is that I did not drink the wine.  But I couldn't easily get to the wine because my two kids in front of me were treating communion time as though they were models on a runway, taking their sweet time, waving to anyone they knew!  I just wanted to get back to our seats.

OF course when church is almost over...Father invites a guest speaker to come up.  Needless to say, as soon as he was finished and the closing hymn began to play, we were off like a herd of sheep..........ready to get the "Flock" outta there!

Dear mom and dad,
I am so incredibly sorry for being such a ROYAL. PAIN.IN. THE .ASS. every Sunday back in my younger days!  I am only apologizing for Sundays because I am positive I was an angel Monday-Saturday!  Thank you for planting good seeds!  Now if only I can get my "plants" to grow!

And the journey continues................

Thursday, April 16, 2015

Dear Kids and Life Changes

I swear I start every entry with something along the lines of......It's been so long..........Sorry I haven't written in forever.....blah blah blah.....I had the best of intentions with this blog.  I was gonna document all the great conversations with the kids, share good stories, experiences, etc.  Clearly, that hasn't happened.

I don't know where to start so I am going to write letters to the kids.

you both spotted a bird of some sort that you recognized

Graham and his buddy, Dylan at the park

Dear Graham:
You are growing up way too fast!  I love you to pieces but you are causing me all sorts of gray hairs at the ripe ol age of 32.  For a five year old, I think you are very intelligent.  You ask me difficult questions such as:
           Hey mom, what is your favorite animal from Central America?

           Do you know what the fastest land animal is?  Or how to tell the difference between an Alligator and a Crocodile? (uhm yeah, one starts with an A and the starts with a mama!)

You have a huge desire to learn about all sorts of creatures.  I believe your interest has been sparked by the tv show "Wild Kratts."  Anyone could ask you questions about almost any animal and you can name the region, habitat, preditor and special features of the animal.

For awhile, I was afraid I was going to have to start paying rent to the Principal's office at school since you seemed to frequent that place.  Now you just keep the timeout chair warm....congrats on the improvement buddy!  If you could figure out how to keep your hands to yourself, life would be so easy with you!
When you get in the car from school, I always ask, "so how was school today?"  On numerous occasions, you respond:
       It was good!........Well, Kinda good.........actually, I had a timeout........ok, maybe two timeouts.........
It kills you to lie!  Which is great!  I love that about you!  I don't think integrity will be a problem.  Seriously though, when I take you to the store for a special treat and tell you to enjoy it......not to rub it in to Kamryn..........I will be darned if it's not the first topic of conversation out of your mouth when she gets in the car!
          "So sister....I have something to tell you....I got to go to Dillon's and get a donut!!!" (let's note that is the first time EVER that your mother bought you one 4.14.15)
THEN we get to experience the Kamryn melt down saga.................Thanks. For. That.

Ok, I will stop picking on you. On a positive note, you are the best at random "I love you's!"  You love to give me hugs and blow me kisses when I leave.
You like to call Kamryn, "sister."  When asked why you call her "sister" more often then Kamryn, you say:  "Technically, I am the only one that can really call her sister because I am her only brother."
True, true :)
You love to play baseball and golf.  Soccer is ok but not your favorite.  You enjoy riding your bike, playing with Kamryn and your friends, and doing workouts in the garage.  Two weeks ago, you could not get a pull-up by yourself.  We had you practice ring rows and pull-ups with a band........the other day you got a pull-up all by yourself!!  That was so awesome to see!!!  You (we) were so excited!

You are starting to learn how to read which has been really cool also!  "THE" stumps you every time though, LOL....bless your heart.  It reminds me of the movie, "Dumb and Dumber!"  I'm not saying you are dumb!!!!  But you have to watch that movie someday...CLASSIC!

 Even though you are a little onery, you have a heart of gold!  I love you buddy!

Dear Kamryn Louise:
Oh sis..... I freakin' Love you!  You challenge me daily with your teenage attitude bottled up inside a toddler body.  The things that come out of your mouth are generally hilarious!  Honesty is not a problem for you.  We need to work on that though in some situations.  You need to learn that it's OK to keep some comments to yourself!
We have to choose our cashiers "wisely" when we go to the store....God only knows what opinion you may feel like sharing!

You are such a free spirit!  Love to dance love to hear Taylor Swift songs, especially "Shake it Off!"

I think you have yet to meet a stranger.  You're very friendly and are very good with names!  Much better than your mother.

You could stand to be friendlier to your brother.  For whatever reason, you take your aggression out on his face when the two of you fight.  You're a tough little cookie.  That's for sure!  I don't think we will have to worry about you getting into trouble on dates!

At the supper table a few nights ago, you made an announcement.

K: "I know who I am going to marry!"
Graham: Oh dear...
K: Carter!  I'm going to marry Carter!  Yep, he's in my class.
Graham: Sister, you have a long time before you need to worry about that.
K: No really, I'm going to marry Carter!
Graham: ugh sister, would you just be quiet and eat!
K: Graham...who are YOUUU gonna marry?
Graham: you know.

Busted.  Graham has already found his match too apparently!

This is your first season in soccer.  You really like it!  You are a fast little girl and very, very LEFT footed!  For the most part, you do a great job listening to your coaches...........except for Tuesday night when you kept falling down on purpose and then would lie in the goal box after scoring and would just lie there and refuse to get up.  Not embarrassing for your mother at all!  Dad was and has been at work alot due to Turnaround at the Refinery.  Unfortunately, he missed the drama.

As of now, you are obsessed with dresses!!!!!!  OBSESSED.  You told me this week that when you grow up, you want to be a cheerleader.  We shall see.......

Every night before bed, you want to read a book, say your prayers and then ask me to sleep with you.
Although you are full of piss and vinegar, it kills me to see you growing up so quickly.  Yet, I will say, it is so fun to watch you play sports and interact with people.  It's bittersweet.  You sucker me in to lying with you most nights.
In the mornings, your favorite thing to eat is strawberry yogurt.  You barely open your eyes, but what you are asking for it!  I love it when you ask me if we can  have "girl talk!"  These are the moments I hope continue forever.  In case they don't, I am cherishing them now!

I love you sis!

While my kids are growing at warp speed, I am making big girl decisions as well.  For the last five years, I have worked at the YMCA, using my degrees and Strength and Conditioning Specialist certification and Crossfit certs, to do personal training and coach CrossFit.  I love the athletes I get to work with daily!  Anyone I train is an athlete in my eyes.  I have trained 10 year olds to 65 year olds.

CrossFit has truly changed my life!  In April of 2012, I went and earned my certification to be considered a CrossFit Level 1 Trainer.  Since August of 2012, I have done all the programming for the adult classes and taught some of the CrossFit Kids- High school sessions.  LOVE IT!  To be able to impact and improve lives is truly rewarding.

Although I love what I do, I have felt a strong pull to do something on my own.  Last week, I resigned from the YMCA giving my two weeks notice.  This was  decision that took me 5 months to weigh.  It was very difficult to put myself first before others but I prayed for signs and God brought several to my attention.  The sign that opened my eyes and my heart the most, was this daily devotional that I received through email that read:
      Joshua 18: 2-3
     But here remained among the children of Israel seven tribes which had not yet received their            inheritance.  Then Joshua said to the children of Israel: "How long will you neglect to go and              possess the land which the Lord God of your fathers has given you?

This devotion talked about how many times do we neglect to receive the gift God has given us?  We pray and pray for changes or for signs and then when we are faced with an answered prayer, we hesitate to go forth.  We let fear stand in our way.  Maybe we are more comfortable praying for something else instead because that is the easy way out...the safe way.

I took this devotion as a challenge but also cherished the message and sign I had been delivered.  In my heart, I truly believe that I am on this Earth to make a difference and do something BIG.  I'm not 100% sure what that is yet and I may be close.  Change is a time to embrace new learning experiences and GROW.  Change is scary.  No matter how frightening though, I canNOT think of one time in my life where CHANGE failed to teach me SOMETHING.  Something good or bad...I have learned something.

My plan right now is to do training on my own.  I am very excited for this opportunity.  Very proud!  Thankful for those whom have been so supportive and understanding.  I ask for those who may be bitter or mad about the change, to accept don't have to like it.

I look forward to this new journey and will probably be more into social media than ever before....that will be a big step for me.

And the journey continues......

Sunday, March 8, 2015

Mom guilt

Today has been a tough day.  For the first time, in I don't know how long, our McPherson Lady Pups will not be in the State Tournament.
Last night we played in the Sub-State Championship in Hays versus Buhler.  We had split in the regular season but we were ready to face the challenge.  Our girls battled their buns off and played with so much heart and class.  There is not a thing we would change or were disappointed in as far as how we performed the things we could control.  I'm keeping all comments to myself in regards to the game.  We ended up tied w/ 10 seconds left.  A foul was called w/ 4 seconds on the clock to send their best player to the FT line where she hit them both....we lost by 2.

We had a team this year that was very close.  They always hung out together and did so many things as a team.  We had great senior leadership.  Not always the most vocal bunch of kids but they took care of each other.  I absolutely love getting to coach these kids.  They mean the world to me and I hope I can positively impact each of their lives in some manner.

Today started off slow.  Our house is a mess.  Laundry has piled up yet again.  Stuff lying all over the place that needs to be put back in its place.  The weather today was gorgeous!!!  The kids finally got to go outside to play!  In a desperate attempt for fresh air myself, I decided to go pick up the dog poop in the backyard that had been collected throughout the winter.  Fun huh?  It wasn't until my kids were begging to help me clean up this "crap" that I realized how hungry they were for time with me.  I felt terrible!  Seriously, what 3 and 5 year old truly wants to pick up dog pooh from the yard with their mother?!?!

I ended up taking them to the park to play.  Later, we ordered a pizza and baked cookies and watched my Disney favorite, Aladdin!

Today is NOT the first time I have pondered this question, but how do I manage to keep the house under control, my patience at bay, enjoy and spend valuable time with my kids, coach basketball, program for and coach Crossfit, keep a healthy marriage and my sanity?

I constantly juggle these things and I can't forget to throw my friendships in that mix.  At 32 years old, I feel like I should have this figured out by now.  It feels like parenting is so hard right now with a 3 and 5 year old.  We are constantly battling each other.  I know they are learning so much right now and are very curious little beings but  how do I get the most out of them?  How do I get them to listen?  I'm saddened when I think about our time together right now and how the vast majority of it, I feel so stressed with them.  How are they going to remember their young years?  I want to experience the same high I receive from coaching kids when I am parenting my own.  It has to be possible.  How do I get there?

A while back I had a conversation with a friend who brought up this question:  As a mom, are we bringing our A game to our Marriage? Our children?  As athletes, we are programmed to think this way....that we need to practice and train to be the best we can be.  Would I make varsity as an athlete right now?  I think so.  Would I make Varsity as wife? mother?  I can't honestly say yes to that question and it tears me apart.

I have a lot to work on in the off season and I hope I can get on track.  To all you moms out there that may possibly be struggling with something similar...Good luck to you.

I'm gonna keep on battling and I will get it figured the journey continues.......